Monday, June 14, 2010

My Story... So Far... Part 3

The fact of the matter is that the story my first neuro told me, about some people with MS only having one MS attack and then going into a life long remission... Turns out, that wasn't me. I gave it a good go though; I tried with ALL of my might to MAKE it my story, but alas it didn't stick.

The truth is it wasn't even close to being my story, although the land of denial was enjoyable between exacerbation's. It was, when I would get hit again, a huge b*!ch. Not only was I dealing with the physical symptoms, which were still new to me,  but I was also going through the mental process of being re-diagnosed ever three months or so, right along side.

I fired my first neurologist... I think I blamed him for putting it out there that I was going to be well, when that was clearly not the case. He also placed himself in my Mom's bad books by mentioning that I might not want to rush into an education stream until I knew what my disease progression looked like. So he was sadly out. I am happy to report that the clinic replaced him with an AMAZING neurologist who encouraged me to pursue whatever it was I wanted to pursue and was working on some really interesting research at the time that we enjoyed talking about as well. I should also mention the "talk" my Mom had with him on "our" first appointment right outside the office door, where she informed him not to discourage me from pursuing whatever it was I wanted to pursue, because it was her contention that I was putting off school because of what the last neurologist had said.

Symptom wise I was looking at a lot of different things; shaky hands, the famous MS hug (which for those of you who are not in the know, means a tightening around the the mid section that feels like you're wearing a constant girdle, only without the built-in support), coordination became harder and fatigue was kicking my BUTT! All the sudden I went from the ski bum, party girl, to the quieter; okay, not silent- OBVIOUSLY, for those who still know and love me, but there was certainly a HUGE shift.

"Friends" started to pull back a little, and by a little, I mean A LOT. My Saturday night party pack turned out to be more of a fair weather type of crowd, then the life long buds I thought they would always be. I mean we had done shots together and speaker danced all night long! The truth is, people were scared and they didn't know what to say; they were 21 like me for heaven's sake! I decided something radical had to take place... A paradigm shift to shake me out of the reality that was SOOOO letting me down.

Although I, myself was not a high maintenance kind of girl, I'd always been the one who cut all my dolls hair off as a little girl instead of playing with them and I was always responsible for getting all my teenage girlfriends ready for the junior high dances. I'd been going to the same hairstylist for a lot of my life and she knew my propensity for hair and had discussed it with me prior to my diagnosis as a possible career path. I decide this was what I needed to do. I needed to go to hair school. It was obvious to me; I could create my own schedule and re-educate down the road if I chose to. So that's what I set out to do. Create a new reality (another CHAMPION choice indeed)!

I discussed the idea briefly with those around me. Actually more to the point, I sold the idea to those around me. This would kick me into a whole new reality; new friends, new ideas, new passions and styles... Away from the snow and the ski's that were getting harder and harder for me to control. I had to think on the snow all of the sudden, that wasn't how it was meant to be!

The question was; would this disease let my newly created reality be?!

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